What if you could begin the new year free from lugging around the burden of resentment?
You know what I’m talking about.
When just the thought of a past wrong done to you floods your body and mind with the same emotions and sensations as if it were happening now. Anger, hurt, fear, or humiliation surge, causing your heart rate to increase and your muscles to tense.
Resentment is as real as a virus. It’s mental and physical. And it will sicken you and those around you.
But I have good news! There is a vaccine and it’s 100% safe and effective and you can get it right now. Here’s how—
Recognizing Resentment
Since beginning my spiritual journey, one of the biggest and most liberating lessons I’ve learned is the freedom of letting go of resentment. When I read the quote by Nelson Mandela at the top of this post, it resonated so deeply with me that I knew it was true and I wanted to stop drinking the poison.
I could hold onto a grudge like nobody’s business. Resentment was a badge of honor for me. It was said by those closest to me, “If you cross her, she’ll never speak to you again.”
And it was true.
My resentments reached far and wide. I resented God for taking my dad when I was four and my mom in 2017. I resented my ex-husband, friends, boyfriends, and family members for a betrayal of some kind. And on and on…
When I finally woke up to reality, I realized the only outcome of holding onto resentment was pain — for myself and those around me. As soon as I determined to let it go, Divinity answered and Byron Katie’s, Loving What Is was a recommended next listen on Audible.
Byron Katie has a fascinating story of spontaneous spiritual awakening. Through her awakening, she developed a process of asking four questions to dig deep into grievances and bring them to the light of truth.
Learning to Let Go
Following her method, I overcame a huge resentment that was blocking me from my family. And like all resentments, it rippled on and on affecting those close to me that had nothing to do with the grievance.
Byron Katie refers to the exercise as “the work”. And it is work. It takes strength and courage to go beyond your personality, access your core Self, and view a situation without judgment.
As I worked through the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, the light of truth began to shine through. I was able to see the situation from both sides and honestly own my part in it.
I asked the family members involved for forgiveness for my part and completely released all resentment. As I did, a fundamental truth dawned on me — we were all just doing the best we could with what we knew at the time.
A beautiful part of releasing resentment is that it’s not dependent on the other party’s acceptance or acknowledgment of your forgiveness. Your freedom depends only on your willingness to forgive.
Releasing resentment is a practice. Some wrongs are much deeper than others and require you to go deep within yourself to find the light of truth and forgiveness. Byron Katie does amazing work in this area. From incest victims to Holocaust survivors, she has brought peace to extremely broken people.
Forgiveness is how we begin to change the world. It begins and ends with each one of us.
Do you have a resentment that you need to drop? I invite you to try Byron Katie’s method and let me know how it works for you.
Read more about her story and download a free copy of the worksheet on her website, www.thework.com. She also has worksheets for kids and teens and hosts Zoom events where you can watch her do the work live with other Zoom participants.
Great insight Jackie! We do each have to find our peace. With each other, even with God. When we do that we can find inner peace.
Thanks for your thoughts, Wanda. I agree. 🙂
Life is just hard ! Just plain hard ! No two people look at life the same , as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to realize it’s just me and how I decided to change for the good or bad is strictly left up to me . I’ve spent my life trying to get those around me friends , co workers , family to like what I like believe how I believe and the list goes on and on and on , then finally one day I woke up and realized who cares !!!! Who really cares !!!!! The only one for me who I 100% believe who cares for me is Jesus ! In him I find peace !
Thanks for your comment, Rick. I agree! The one sure way to know if you’re on the right path is the degree of inner peace you feel within. When you live from that place of peace, nothing else really matters.