A Teaching:
Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.
Eckhart Tolle
A Truth:
Accepting — really accepting — the situations in my life that I don’t want to quit is a big struggle for me. Specifically, my relationships with my nearest and dearest: my spouse and children.
As I’ve grown in awareness of my own negative thoughts, beliefs, and tendencies, so too have I become more aware of the unconscious behavior of those around me. And since I’m not willing to quit my family, how do I accept others as they are, without being drawn into drama and reaction?
Let me point out that it’s much easier to witness neediness, judgment, and disrespect in others than it is within myself. The truth is that whatever behavior I’m irritated with in them, is also within me.
When I have the thought, “He’s being needy.”, I’m actually being needy myself. I need him to not be needy!
Those closest to us really are our greatest teachers!
I’ve finally realized that the only person I can change is myself. I can set boundaries and not enable hurtful behavior, but I can’t make anyone do what I want or what I think they should.
And I understand that my greatest contribution to my family and everyone else is to be present, true, and continue to grow in consciousness. That’s it.
I know when I practice acceptance of what I can’t (or don’t want to) change, I have peace. When I don’t, I suffer. It’s that simple.
And yet I have to be reminded again and again . . .
A Take-away:
So how do you accept what you find intolerable? Eckhart teaches you do it the same way you drop a hot potato. You drop it. You consciously choose peace over suffering by changing what you can and accepting what you cannot.
