A Teaching:
If you think you’re so enlightened, go spend a week with your family.
Ramdas
A Truth:
My family has taught me two of my most significant spiritual lessons: forgiveness and acceptance.
I know the poison of harboring resentment and the freedom of forgiveness (it really is freedom.) And I’ve experienced the gentle peace that surrounds accepting the things we cannot change.
But it wasn’t easy. Forgiveness and acceptance were preceded by pain and deep suffering.
A part of me says that the road to enlightenment doesn’t have to be paved with misery. That suffering is optional. But in my case, I know I wouldn’t be writing this right now if I hadn’t found myself seeking relief from the pain.
A Takeaway:
Spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle says:
“Relationships are your spiritual practice. Whether they’re short, work-related, or family relationships, if you can shift the way you look at relationships and regard them as your own spiritual practice, difficult people become much easier to deal with.”
- Be present with difficult people. It begins within you. If you’re not in touch with your Inner Being, then it will likely be an interaction of egos. A battle with no real winners — of being right, justified, and better than.
- Understand that whatever unconscious behavior other people are acting out, it’s not who they really are. That doesn’t mean you become a doormat for someone’s ego, but it can allow you to see them with compassion rather than pity, anger, and judgment.
- Try to go into an event with the intention of listening without arguing your opinion. Egos need constant confirmation that they’re right and someone or something else is wrong. Be present and listen without adding to the gossip or argument.
- Finally, forgive yourself if you get triggered and repeat all the same drama once again. Nothing is lost if you’re aware you were taken over by a reactive part of you. It takes Presence to know you’ve lost touch with Presence. 🙂
* photo taken by me in Smoky Mountain National Park – October 2021
