Internal Family Systems (IFS) or “Parts Work” is an approach to both psychotherapy and coaching that teaches us how to access our greatest resource – our core Self. Then, through the Self, we come to understand and heal our inner wounded and protective “parts”.
Core Self
Dr. Richard Schwartz, the developer of IFS, says we are all born with a core Self. The Self, also known as our spirit, soul, atman, or inner being, is the indestructible, compassionate, creative, and courageous force that dwells within each of us. It is who we really are beyond name, titles, and human form.
Throughout decades of research into the healing power of our core Self, Dr. Schwartz found that the Self can never be damaged and it knows how to heal. However, the Self can get covered up by extreme “parts”. And when the Self becomes forgotten and abandoned, damaged parts of us take over creating pain and suffering in our lives.
Parts work focuses on bringing compassionate attention to parts and restoring balance and harmony between parts and the Self.
Parts
Is there a part of you that holds you back from what you truly desire? Are you anxious or afraid to take the next step toward a new career, relationship, or anything out of your comfort zone? If so, it’s likely that a “part” is sabotaging you from fulfilling your potential. And you probably aren’t even aware of its existence.
Dr. Schwartz says that our parts are designed to play a valuable role within our psyche. But, when parts are forced out of their inherent roles by life experiences, they can become reactive, defensive, and even destructive.
IFS Categorizes Parts into Three Roles: Managers, Exiles, and Firefighters.
Managers- These parts try to keep us functional and safe by maintaining control over our inner and outer environments. They keep us from getting too close or dependent on others. They may criticize our appearance or performance to make us look or act better.
Exiles- When you have been hurt, shamed, or frightened, an exile part is created that carries all of the emotions, memories, and sensations from that experience. Managers want to protect exiles from those hurtful feelings and keep those vulnerable parts locked in inner closets.
Firefighters- If an exile is exposed or feels threatened, firefighters jump into action. They douse the inner flames of emotion with alcohol, drugs, sex, food, work, social media, etc.
For example, an exiled part may be the trauma and anger of earlier abuse, emotions that are suppressed by the manager, while the firefighter may have an alcohol addiction or behavior such as overeating that distracts the client from facing and re-experiencing those uncomfortable emotions.
Internal Family Systems Therapy | Psychology Today
What happens in a Parts Work Session?
- A typical parts work session begins with taking some deep breaths as if you were going to meditate.
- Next, you scan your body and mind, noting any sensations, impulses, thoughts, or emotions that are present. You’re simply watching your thoughts and separating from them a little bit.
- Notice if one of those thoughts, feelings, sensations, etc. is trying to get your attention more than others. If so, you focus on it and notice where it’s located inside or outside your body.
- Now notice how you feel about that part. Do you like it? Are you afraid of it? Do you want to get rid of it?
- Now ask the parts that might not like or are afraid of the target part to relax. This allows you to get to know the target part. If the parts allow it (and they may not) you can interact with the target part.
- You can ask if there’s anything it wants you to know. Don’t think of the answer, just wait to see if one comes.
- If you get an answer, a follow-up question may be, “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t create this pain, fear, anxiety, etc.?” If it responds, you may find out what it’s been protecting.
The Difference between a Parts Work Therapy Session and a Coaching Session
You don’t have to have experienced major trauma to find yourself stuck in the same unhealthy patterns, dysfunctional relationships, or unfulfilling work. A coaching parts work session teaches you how to access your greatest resource, your core Self, to help you understand and heal the parts of you keeping you from the life you truly desire.
A coaching parts work session doesn’t go deep into addressing major trauma or treating mental disorders.
Experience a Parts Work Session for Yourself
In my post, IFS Therapy in Action: Healing a Buried Trauma, I share my personal experience with IFS Therapy on uncovering and healing a buried exile.
