Who’s the real you?

Is it the “you” that comes out after you’ve had too many drinks? Or is it the “you” that yells at the driver that cut you off? How about the “you” that took two bags of ice from the convenience store but only paid for one?

Some say how we act when we’re under the influence, provoked, or when no one is looking is who we really are.

It’s not.

Those are parts of our personality that are mostly created by our life experiences. But it’s not the true essence of who we really are.

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Who Is Your True Self?

Spiritual teacher, Deepak Chopra, says your true self isn’t other-worldly and experiences of the true Self happen all the time. These experiences are marked by a wide range of feelings, including:

• Calm
• Centered
• Peaceful
• Blissful
• Insightful
• Untroubled

Deepak points out that although the experiences of the true Self are natural and normal, most of us don’t live in a state of peaceful bliss all the time. But why? Who doesn’t want to be blissfully fulfilled all the time? Why do we seem to choose suffering over peace? Because our true Self is constantly competing with our other “selves”, Deepak says.

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The Other Selves

In this article, Deepak breaks down our different selves into three categories: the ego-personality, the unconscious self, and the true Self.

• The Ego-Personality: This is the self that most of us identify with, and believe is who we are. It’s the self we want the world to see. The part that wants to be seen as successful and important in the eyes of the world and liked by others. Incessant, irrelevant, and often negative thinking about the past and future is the ego-personality’s primary function.
• The Unconscious Self: This is where we bury our unconscious fears, traumas, and wounded childhood memories. The behavior of the ego corresponds to what’s been deposited in our unconscious self. Deepak points out that the unconscious self is also our source of intuition and creativity. When we “sense” something isn’t right, he says it’s coming from our unconscious.
• The True Self: Deepak says this is the “I am” of existence. It is still and silent and holds the infinite resources of love, creativity, bliss, awareness, and intelligence. By getting to know our true Self, we have access to the Universal Intelligence that governs existence.

Before we can begin to know our true Self, spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, says we must bring attention to our false selves. Until we recognize that our ego is constantly filling our minds with incessant thinking —that benefits no one — and our unconscious is telling us we’re not good enough, or no one loves us, or doom is lurking right around the corner, we’ll never really know our true Self.

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Finding Your True Self

For unless you learn to recognize the false and false — as not you — there can be no lasting transformation, and you would always end up being drawn back into illusion and into some form of pain.

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

How do you know when you’ve uncovered your true Self or who you really are? Deepak says that the true Self is the only self that doesn’t have an agenda. It isn’t involved in our stories or in the concepts of “I, me, and mine”. The true Self doesn’t dwell in old memories, habits, beliefs, fears, or desires. Deepak offers these signposts that you’re on the right track to recovering who you really are:

A sense of mental and physical lightness.

Feeling more centered in yourself.

Feeling safe.

Knowing that your life has meaning.

A sense of bliss in everyday activity.

Lessening of negative emotions like fear, anger, guilt, or shame.

An increase in “aha” moments of insight.

The end of a fear of death.

Feelings of love, kindness, and empathy.

A desire to serve rather than to live only for yourself.

Chopra.com

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Practices to Connect to Your True Self

1. RECLAIM CONSCIOUSNESS FROM THE MIND: Eckhart says this is the most essential task on your spiritual journey. Just be aware of what your mind is thinking. Be the “watcher” of your thoughts. And then ask yourself who’s the watcher?
2. TRANSFORM THROUGH THE BODY: Many religious practices through the centuries have tried to find salvation by denying the body, and many still do. Fasting, celibacy, and even inflicting pain on the body to punish it for being sinful, are still practiced today. It’s said that the Buddha did not attain enlightenment until after he gave up a six-year practice of fasting and extreme asceticism. As Eckhart points out, regardless of denying the body or inducing some trance-like state, you will always have to return to the body. “Transformation is through the body, not away from it”, he says.
   1. Keep some of your attention on your inner body. Focus on the energy you feel vibrating in your hands, feet, or abdomen. Try to feel it as a single energy field. Do this throughout your day. Don’t let all of your attention flow out, keep some of your attention on the energy field within your body.
3. FORGIVE: If emotions such as resentment, self-pity, or blame seem to prevent you from putting your attention on the inner body, it means you need to forgive. Unforgiveness can be in regard to any person or situation that you refuse to accept. Forgiveness means letting go of grief. The mind cannot forgive, only your true Self can.

No task or project is more valuable than finding our true Self. It is realizing our connectedness with something immeasurable and indestructible. It is the end of suffering and the beginning of realizing our full potential and purpose.

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