We often hear about the consequences of negative thinking. It’s easy to see negativity in others, but what if negative thinking is actually controlling you and you don’t even know it. Becoming aware of what’s playing in the background of our minds is critical to our happiness, success, and overall sense of well-being.

I invite you to stop for a moment and examine your thoughts.

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Try This:

1. Set a timer for two to three minutes.
2. Close your eyes, and pay attention to your thoughts. Don’t try to guide your thoughts or stop them. Let them come naturally.
3. Have a notepad in front of you. With a pen on paper write down a one-word impression of each thought. Keep your eyes closed and allow the pen to move across the page.

Seriously, try it.

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Did your mind wander from thought to thought without ever being silent? Were the thoughts relevant and happy? Did emotions arise: happiness, anger, anxiety, or worry?  

Were you able to sit in the stillness of your mind, filled with a sense of inner peace and joy? If so, then you can stop reading—you’re already there.

But, if (like most of us) your thoughts were a cacophony of unwanted intrusions, keep reading—there’s hope.

The Negative Thinking Mind

Spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, refers to the exercise above as “watching the thinker”.

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Eckhart says, “virtually everyone hears a voice, or several voices, in their head all the time: the involuntary thought processes that you don’t realize you have the power to stop.”

THE POWER OF NOW

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Eckhart points out that if you’ve ever come across someone on the street incessantly talking or muttering to themselves, you probably thought they were insane. But is that really any different than what “normal” people do?

Does the voice in your head talk incessantly? Does it complain, condemn, judge, worry, shame, etc.?

Are your thoughts relevant to the situation at hand? Or is it drudging up past hurtful memories and imagining negative future scenarios?

In that case, aren’t you insane too?

Many people live with a tormentor in their head that continuously attacks and punishes them and drains them of vital energy. It is the cause of untold misery and unhappiness, as well as of disease.

THE POWER OF NOW- ECKHART TOLLE

Becoming Aware of Negative Thinking

A moment of awareness of the tormentor came one morning in 2016.  I was driving home alone on a quiet two-lane road in our neighborhood. The radio was off, so nothing was distracting me from my thoughts.

The noise in my mind seemed to echo off the inside of the car. Several voices were speaking all at once. None of them were positive or even relevant to my current situation.

The voices commented, judged, worried, and speculated about everything. Movie reels of past wrongdoings (big and small) played in the background. While another part cast me as a victim in an imagined melodrama.

Suddenly, a prolonged “STOP!” roared from my throat.

I was startled. I had become aware of the incessant chatter that was possessing my mind—and I wanted it to stop. It was exhausting, made me miserable and I suddenly realized it happened All-The-Time.

I was so conditioned to incessant thinking, that I wasn’t aware of its constant presence until that moment. I realized the mental chatter was controlling me and wanted it to stop, but I didn’t know that was an option. And I certainly didn’t know how to make it stop. I thought it was just the way I was.

Who (or What) is creating Negative Thinking?

As you begin to watch your thoughts you’ll likely wonder who (or what) is creating the turmoil in your mind. When you notice the negative undercurrent of your thoughts it’s not difficult to believe you are possessed by some entity.

And indeed you are. But it’s not a demon that’s possessing you—it’s your ego.

Ego and Negative Thinking

The term ego likely conjures up images of people you don’t like: a politician, a boss, or a family member.

Generally, we associate ego with someone who thinks they’re better than others and uses their position of power for their own advantage. 

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From a psychological perspective, the ego is the mental image we have of ourselves. It’s who we believe we are based on our personal and cultural life experiences.

The ego is the mind-created self, or false self, that we have identified with. And unless you are truly enlightened (like Buddha, Jesus, and a handful of known others) you have an ego.

The Ego is comprised of “Parts”

Your ego doesn’t have to be a villainous entity running your mind. According to Dr. Richard Schwartz, founder of The Internal Family Systems Model (IFS Therapy), the ego is comprised of many different “parts” that make up our psyche.

Parts can be created from trauma or abuse, but more often they’re created from unresolved internal conflict from our childhood and life experiences. This internal conflict escalates over time and often affects all aspects of our lives—without us realizing it’s there. 

Like most people, I was identified with the thoughts my parts created. I mistook my parts for who I was because I had very little access to the real me—my Core Self.

The Key to Ending Incessant Thinking: Accessing your Core Self

Your core Self is your connectedness with Being, Divine Intelligence, or God. Confidence, compassion, leadership, and acceptance live in the Self. Just like a ray of sunshine is a piece of the sun, the Self is a piece of the Divine—the eternal, ever-present I am. 

Eckhart describes that when you, “begin to realize that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought… you also realize all the things that truly matter — beauty, love creativity, joy, inner peace — arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.

THE POWER OF NOW

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This vast realm of intelligence is your core Self.  

Dr. Schwartz recognizes that everyone has a core Self in addition to their parts.  Regardless of the abuse and suffering the person has received or inflicted, the Self cannot be damaged or destroyed. 

The goal of IFS Therapy is to distinguish your core Self from the roles your parts have adopted. Becoming Self-led allows the parts that have been creating negative thinking to release their roles and trust the Self to lead.   

If you want more information on understanding parts and accessing your core Self, check out my post on IFS Therapy.

Releasing Negative Thinking

Step 1: Pay attention to your thoughts

I invite you to make it a priority to be aware of your thoughts. Don’t judge them or try to shove them down. Just be the watcher. You’ll realize that You are separate from your thoughts. You—the watcher—is your core Self.

Read Eckhart Tolle’s profound book The Power of Now. This book is a guide to spiritual awakening and becoming Self-led. The Power of Now initiated my journey into spirituality and transformed the way I think and live.

Step 2: Keep a Journal

Step 3: Go Deeper

Consider seeking a therapist trained in IFS Therapy. After over two years of studying spirituality, I continued to fall back into old reactive patterns. I needed help uncovering the parts that fought for control of my thoughts.

IFS Therapy has helped me do that. For me, it is an ongoing process. You can read more about my personal experience with IFS in the post, IFS Therapy in Action: Healing a Buried Trauma.

Becoming aware of your thoughts and understanding that you (your core Self) are not your thoughts is the beginning of freedom from incessant negative thinking and spiritual awakening.

Once begun, it cannot be reversed.

Welcome to the journey.